Become Thoughtful When Life Stops

The pandemic helped bring my life to a standstill as it did for so many, but, my life was at a bit of a standstill already being a mature woman in my 50’s.

I’m divorced(a marriage that didn’t have to end), I don’t have kids, and I don’t work being on longterm disability.

One thing I had managed to do for myself, and I did it the hard way, was to find affordable housing.

Before that, I had done some moving around only to be priced out of rent and was also trying with all my might to make relationships work with men who were just not invested.

I decided to go it alone.

So here I am in my apartment with my dog and there’s really not a whole lot to do. Don’t get me wrong I’m in a great location and I love my neighbors, but only now, am I looking back on my life and learning from it.

Because my life has stopped it affords me the luxury of thinking.

My thoughts are drifting to a time when I was 25 and me and my husband were about to have dinner at a nice restaurant.

Being early evening, the restaurant was dimly lit, and an older gentleman appeared as our waiter. He took our drink order first.

Ten minutes later, carrying a tray, the waiter was serving us our drinks when I noticed he was grimacing and also a little wobbly on his feet.

I happened to be a young nurse, an RN with a 2 year degree, and I asked him if he was in pain.

Pointing to his chest, he said he was. I walked him to a quiet part of the restaurant and sat him in a chair.

I assumed it was heart related so I asked him if he had Nitroglycerin on him and he said yes in his coat pocket.

I had the head waitress call an ambulance and I had the waiter take a total of 3 Nitroglycerin tablets, one at a time, 15 minutes apart, under his tongue.

(Nitroglycerin acts to dilate the coronary arteries and can help prevent a heart attack that is happening).

The ambulance crew arrived but they were looking to me to guide them. I was not used to this. I was simply a staff nurse who usually took orders not gave them.

Long story short, the waiter, I’m sure his name was Gil, was taken to the hospital by ambulance.

Gil made it I found out the next time me and my husband were at the restaurant, but, the thing was, the head waitress complained that I had yelled during the quiet chaos.

I was honestly doing my best, I was very nervous, I helped to save the waiters life and I was surprised that I was being criticized.

If I was the waitress I wouldn’t have said that. After all, no one is perfect.

I just think that because of my timid nature people feel free to put me in check.

They don’t need to. I’m the type who beats herself up for making mistakes.

I’m sorry if I yelled without realizing it. That whole night exhausted me emotionally and I went straight to bed. I paid my own price.

I guess a person isn’t supposed to help unless they’re sure they will have a perfect performance. I know that’s not true but it does make one hesitate.

You end up thinking twice and time is wasted.

Lesson learned: Even a Good Samaritan is subject to criticism.

Who knew.

10 thoughts on “Become Thoughtful When Life Stops

  1. experience. sad for your lost union. but you have time and do not have to punch the clock. glass half full side.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think that waitress’s life probably would’ve been happier if she prioritized gratitude over bitterness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was hard for me because I was the kind of person who was used to following orders not giving them.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, I can see that being really hard.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, that’s amazing that you were able to help Gil. I’m not sure why someone would be concerned about the volume of your voice during an emergency. I’m also a person who would beat myself over imperfections, so I totally get it. People shouldn’t be so quick to criticize others, you never know how that may stick with them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Amber and also I had such low self esteem at the time it took everything I had in me to take charge of the situation.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. We do what’s right and be damend, that’s alright it comes out in the end!

    Liked by 2 people

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