Growing up I heard that Daddy was sick.
He was not himself. He would ask to be laid off so he could collect unemployment.
But I also know that he wasn’t treated fairly by members of the family. I’m even guilty myself. I was very uneducated and did it just because everybody else was doing it.
He did die young. He was very obese. I believe he over-ate from a lack of love.
My Father was an educated man with his Masters Degree. He was a gentle giant.
So he had a mental illness. He had so many wonderful qualities that were ignored simply because he was diagnosed.
It was like we dehumanized him.
He died and then the focus was more on me. Seeing what happened to myself made me better understand what my Father went through but it was too late.
My mom can be very abusive psychologically and emotionally. She can be cruel and unrelenting.
I believe she helped give my Father and I break-downs.
Almost like the abuse was a secret so if we spoke of our experience we were deemed mentally ill. It was silencing.
I believe the dominant person is abusive and the weaker more submissive one gets the mental illness.
Or at least in my family.
Many years later I heard the term ‘sick’ again. It was used by my psychiatrist this time telling me to end the relationship with my boyfriend because he was sick.
I didn’t understand this because he wasn’t on meds but I was. Again I knew too little, disregarded what the doctor said thinking he wasn’t that good. I didn’t end the relationship but later wished I had.
In my boyfriend’s case he didn’t have a mental illness, aside from a mild depression, he was morally depraved. He had a bad character like a Sociopath.
So saying someone is sick leaves a lot open to interpretation.
I think the question should be whether the person is harmless or harmful.
If my Mom is abusive doesn’t that make her sick too?
In fact I can remember my Father saying that to her years ago. He would state it as a matter of fact saying, “You’re sick too.”
My mom would then say that my Father was at his sickest when he would say that.
My head is spinning by now.
One thing I am sure of from my dealings with people is to look for two things first in a person. Honesty and respect.
Respect is easier to evaluate because determining if someone is honest will take some time.
Then there is human evil. I know there is a book by M. Scott Peck called People Of The Lie.
I believe the wicked will reveal themselves to the most innocent of people and not everyone will believe them.
In my case I didn’t see anything evil it was what I heard. A guttural sounding voice coming from the person who said to me, “I want to bury you.”
I have faith in God, I am interested in living as a Christian and also following the 12 steps.
I have a friend who suggests that I do what she does. She says a quick prayer to God asking for protection.
I’m thinking human evil is another kind of sick yet.