Three of us borderlines live in my building. We are all self-professed.
What I’m seeing is three different levels of anger which makes me wonder if degree of anger is relative to severity of borderline.
I will call one of the ladies Chelsea. She doesn’t seem angry at all and she has had some harder times than me.
Then there’s me. Medium anger. I get angry, mostly hung up on injustices, and a lot of, “It’s not fair,” dialogue.
Finally there is Jamie. Hot headed and you can’t say one thing to her without her getting all defensive and escalating into phone calls which she makes and will then hang up on you.
Are these degrees of illness I wonder?
I learned from my IOP this week to give up the It’s Not Fair internal dialogue because it will only make me angrier. Seems wise after several bloody noses plus chronic hair loss.
I am basically this nice person who can cave after enough provocation. I want to get smart and leave the situation before it reaches that point.
I do want to get along at all costs.
Not everyone likes me though.
As an update I have been going to IOP just not attending group therapy where the hostile girl is who doesn’t like me.
We pass by one another in the building but don’t have the opportunity to get involved in a heated discussion.
~To be continued
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