Is Ghosting Really Wrong?

Here I think I’m doing a good thing telling my friend the reasons why I don’t want to visit her. My intention was to repair the relationship rather than to drop her. I wanted to give her a chance and rather than her saying, “I’m sorry,” I was met with her anger. She disagreed and became hostile saying that she must protect herself from me.

Wow, all I can do is retreat.

(By the way my therapist says that I’m actually the freeze type. I don’t fight or flee, I freeze).

I could have ghosted my friend and she’d never know why I dropped her. I was giving her a chance to change her ways but she didn’t see those things in herself. She got mad.

Ghosting would have been the better choice.

What IS ghosting anyway? Ghosting is: Abruptly ending communication without explanation.

Many years ago when I was more of a narcissist myself back then, I ghosted a steady boyfriend. I had been dating him for ten years in my teens and early twenties.

Basically I left him for someone else at the time because he was still living at home while I was on my own, and also, he kept missing college classes and lying about it when I had already become a nurse.

I never told him back then. I just moved on.

35 years later we are friends, he has his own life, but, he asked me why I left him all those years ago so I told him. He knew I was right.

So to ghost or not to ghost? What is the right thing to do? I guess it depends on the person you are thinking of dropping. How will they receive your words? Is it in the how of how you say it?

I know for me when someone points out to me where I lack, I am grateful, because, I want to improve myself as relationships are the most fulfilling thing for me that is out there.

In any relationship it seems the one who is more committed, more loyal, and more loving is the borderline. The Narcissist never cares as much and actually hurts less. If they think you will drop them they beat you to the finish line and drop you first😊 💜 🌟 🌈

7 thoughts on “Is Ghosting Really Wrong?

  1. I see it this way: Do unto others…
    If I am ghosted by someone, lacking closure, I feel wronged, treated as less than human, and disrespected or disregarded. So, why would I accept of myself do this to another?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right, that’s how I feel. It seems to go wrong in my telling the person the reasons why. Some have been overly sensitive to criticism.


  2. I have ghosted people in the past too but know I prefer to tell people why I don’t want to be their friends anymore even if somehow it hurts me even more …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello, thank you for stopping by my blog 😊 My intention is to save the relationship as there is value in every person but some people can’t handle the slightest of criticism.


      1. Thats true ,and if they cant take criticism the relationship wont improve .I hope you save the relationship and your friend sees that thats what youre trying to do .

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you I hoped the same but instead she projects her hostility into me. She says that I accuse her but she accuses me. She reacts, I don’t. We just can’t be friends. I have to accept this. It’s like we are at a stalemate.


      3. I see yes if you’ve tried before and it always ends the same way maybe its time to end it …although that can be really hard sometimes especially if youve known the other person for a long time..

        Liked by 1 person

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