Here I think I’m doing a good thing telling my friend the reasons why I don’t want to visit her. My intention was to repair the relationship rather than to drop her. I wanted to give her a chance and rather than her saying, “I’m sorry,” I was met with her anger. She disagreed and became hostile saying that she must protect herself from me.
Wow, all I can do is retreat.
(By the way my therapist says that I’m actually the freeze type. I don’t fight or flee, I freeze).
I could have ghosted my friend and she’d never know why I dropped her. I was giving her a chance to change her ways but she didn’t see those things in herself. She got mad.
Ghosting would have been the better choice.
What IS ghosting anyway? Ghosting is: Abruptly ending communication without explanation.
Many years ago when I was more of a narcissist myself back then, I ghosted a steady boyfriend. I had been dating him for ten years in my teens and early twenties.
Basically I left him for someone else at the time because he was still living at home while I was on my own, and also, he kept missing college classes and lying about it when I had already become a nurse.
I never told him back then. I just moved on.
35 years later we are friends, he has his own life, but, he asked me why I left him all those years ago so I told him. He knew I was right.
So to ghost or not to ghost? What is the right thing to do? I guess it depends on the person you are thinking of dropping. How will they receive your words? Is it in the how of how you say it?
I know for me when someone points out to me where I lack, I am grateful, because, I want to improve myself as relationships are the most fulfilling thing for me that is out there.
In any relationship it seems the one who is more committed, more loyal, and more loving is the borderline. The Narcissist never cares as much and actually hurts less. If they think you will drop them they beat you to the finish line and drop you first😊 💜 🌟 🌈