Someone said at an al-anon meeting that being envious makes you a victim.
I thought about it and she was right. Envy and jealousy are very difficult emotions to manage. It’s also giving power to the other person, “You have something I want.”
I thought about it more and decided that wanting anything from a person makes you dependent and thus a victim.
Back when I was in IOP, my clinician pointed out that I looked for external validation.
What happens if I don’t get validation from others? I become emotional.
I really should be validating myself.
I was just never that independent.
I am becoming more independent since I learned that without it you are at risk for abuse. I mean at least having the ability to live alone.
I never dreamed of being so independent that I had to love myself because no one loves me.
My life has changed so much since I was young. It is becoming more and more bare bones in terms of people and resources.
Actually there are three people in my family who I know love me it’s just that I don’t get to see them that often. I also have two very good friends and of course my dog!
I was divorced in my early 40’s and really believed that I would remarry. It didn’t happen. So then I said to myself, “Well in that case, I will have friends.”
As it turns out, making new friends hasn’t been that easy either.
I had found that my wanting friends and yearning for friends had done what? Made me a victim because once again I was emotional.
I am a very friendly person and a I have found that my overtures are often met with rejection.
So talk about being truly independent and not wanting or needing anything from anybody.
It can be lonely, but, at least I won’t be a victim.
How about this….Be truly independent and anything you get from anyone else is icing on the cake!