So I’m older now. A mature woman in my mid-fifties. I am tired from much abuse in my life.
I’m too nice was my problem, too tolerant, too forgiving etc.
Knowing what I know now I have a new game plan.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve known good people. I just happen to attract toxic and it took too long to get wise.
Even some staff has been abusive. Not worth it trying to hold them accountable because the written notes won’t reflect it. If they are Narcissistic they will just deny it.
I spoke to two old friends from my past recently. They both said what I am saying. That there just aren’t enough decent people men and women both and that it’s rough out there.
I am starting to wear down from years of mistreatment. Some friends, some family, and also some treatment staff.
I’m still walking though and losing weight. I am a size 6 now so that has kept me going!
I’m going to have to leave certain people behind even if it means losing money because my health is on the line and is more important.
Psych staff who have wronged me I’m just going to have to take the lesson because it won’t be admitted and might make me look worse if I speak it.
Who needs a therapist so much anyway when there are no Narcissists in your life? The Narcissists give us a reason to enter therapy. Most of the time Narcissistic abuse leads to mental illness in the first place anyway.
The secret is keeping only reasonably healthy people in your life. People who don’t lie or play games or disrespect you or invalidate you.
I know we all make mistakes but I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about a pattern.
So I am becoming more and more on my own.
Sure I have people I keep in touch with and occasionally go out to see.
I wave hello to my neighbors.
And I have my dog Luna.
I have a tendency to stew and get mad because I’m a very honest person and I see some people getting away with murder.
I am retreating again.
A fellow blogger helped confirm what I was thinking by saying that the abuse isn’t worth the money.
I think she’s right.
For some reason I always felt that I had to hang in there with people.
Kind of funny.
It’s not worth the fight.